Love Me Again Read online

  An occasional lunch or dinner date with a friend was more than enough for her. But she only wished her heart understood the dynamics. It was skipping beats and playing all the games one's heart played when it was seemingly falling in love.

  Nevertheless, today along with a beat skip, her heart received a stab. Mrs. Harris had, during an intense conversation, told her that Jade Bishop was back in town. Mrs. Harris also told her how beautiful Jade looked. She, too, had only seen her in pictures, but her first time seeing her in person had left a lasting impression on Mrs. Harris.

  Like any other woman who wanted to see their competition, Veronica had trolled Jade’s Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts. Each was full of pictures of her and Jasper, but neither had gotten a post in four years.

  From the looks of things, Jasper wasn’t the only person she’d left. It had seemed that Jade dropped off from the world and wanted nothing to do with anything or anyone from her past. For Veronica, she’d prayed that Jade still felt the same way.

  However, that hadn’t stopped people like Jasmine, Jasper’s sister from making sure that every woman around him knew that he still belonged to Jade. Even Veronica. And, Veronica would never forget how she rudely strolled over to their table where lunch and laughter were on full display and asked Jasper, “I wonder if Jade walked in here now, would she understand?”

  He’d replied, “Enough Jasmine,” and she strolled away just as quietly as she came up.

  One thing was certain, his sister was still team Jade and there was no competing with her about the matter. Veronica sat at her desk thinking about how Jasper handled the rude interruption.

  “Veronica, please excuse my little sister. Jade is my ex, and my entire family still loves her. So, seeing me laughing with you probably shocked Jasmine.”

  “I understand, but how would Jade feel if she saw us together?”

  “To be honest, I’m not sure. Jade left me and it ’s been three and a half years. Also, I didn’t consider this lunch-date with you and me as a date. But when I think about it now, I guess it is a date. So, I can see how it would affect Jasmine. My entire family feels like Jade will come back to me, but I’m not even certain if I want her to. What would stop her from leaving me again?”

  “I can’t answer that, Jasper, but I’m sure Jade can. I didn’t consider this as a date either, because I was told that you still loved her. And—”

  “You what?”

  “I can’t afford to get my heart trampled over. Every woman wants to be loved, but I refuse to be loved by a man who is still so in love with another woman. And please don’t deny it, Jasper. I see it all in your eyes.”

  “To deny my love for Jade would be to lie, and I have no reason to lie to you. I just believe that Jade doesn’t still love me. I’m beginning to feel like almost four years is far too long to be loving on someone who refuses to love you back.”

  “I understand how you might feel, but to add me to the equation would be devastating to one of us and I’m afraid it just might be me. So, why don’t we just continue to be friends, eat lunch together, have fun, and see what time does.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me.”

  Now here she sat feeling like a complete idiot. If ever she should have made a move, it should have been that day. At least they would have had an entire half year to get closer. But no, with her bright over-protective self, she’d allowed Jade to waltz back into town and maybe even back into Jasper’s heart and life. Maybe where she belonged.

  Maybe she’s never left because Jasper takes more than the average amounts of trips and for some strange reason, she had the feeling that some of them were to see Jade. Veronica closed her eyes and prayed, “Father, don’t ever allow me to lust after a man or desire one who has someone else. I thank You for preserving my heart by not allowing me to get caught up in that web. I trust You with my life and my love life. In Jesus’ name.”

  This entire dating thing was so new for her and she’d have to allow the Lord to lead the way completely.

  Chapter Three

  Jade’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a roaring engine. Surely, no one knew she was in town, and Jasper was away his secretary said. So who could this be?

  Jade glared long and hard at the dark gray sports car. The windows were tinted really dark which made it impossible for her to see who was in the car. For some strange reason, the car looked oddly familiar.

  Maybe it’s just my mind.

  It took a minute more than average for a person to exit a car, but finally, the driver’s door came open. When he got out of the car, Jade felt a lump in her throat. One part of her wanted to run and throw herself into his arms, but the sane part of her knew he was still angry with her.

  In fact, he should have been. She’d left without even saying, ‘Goodbye.’

  Jasper’s long legs brought him to the porch in what seemed to be only seconds.

  “Jade,” he said, courteous but stiff.

  “Jasper,” she answered, wanting to sound as hard as he had, but knowing in her heart she needed him now more than ever.

  “You could at least stand up and give the man you walked out on a hug.” He was standing in front of her with his arms stretched open.

  “Are you sure you want a hug from me?”

  “You’re the only person on this porch, right?”

  “Okay,” Jade stood and walked into Jasper’s embrace. Her heart, once feeling heavy with sorrow, now felt as if it were pausing after beats. His smell. His touch. All just a fraction of what she’d been missing.

  “Jade, I see your bags, so I take it as though you still haven’t gone inside.”

  “Jasper, I tried. I tried. I just couldn’t do it.”

  “Listen, I knew it would be hard, and I tried my very best to beat you here. Then, I had my doubts that you’d even come, but I also allowed Jackson to strong-arm you into coming. You know I’d never allow anyone to do anything with your grandmother’s estate except you.”

  “So you tricked me into coming back?”

  “You needed to come back. You needed to do what you needed to do, Jade. This is your business to handle, not just mine.”

  “Says the guy who knows everything.”

  “No, I don’t. But one thing I do know is that your grandmother loved you and you’ve been dead for four years. Just like her and that’s long enough.”

  “I guess you're the life-angel too.”

  “No, but since you still have your life, you might as well act like you appreciate it and live. Now, come on in this house unless you plan on sleeping on this porch.”

  “I was actually going to a hotel, but I’ll go in.”

  Jasper unlocked the door and stood to the side so she could enter.

  Jade almost lost her breath. The house was nothing like she remembered. New furniture, bright colors, black and white pictures of her, her grandmother, and other family members lined the hallway, and beautiful statues and vases were everywhere.

  The house looked like a home in magazines.

  Jasper did his best to contain his emotions. As excited as he was, he was also angry. The love of his life lost her grandmother who loved and raised her and then left him. From the time they were in the fifth grade, she was the love of his life and by the time he graduated college, he’d known she would be his wife.

  Unfortunately for him, she didn’t feel the same. He had no course of action to deal with the rejection, causing him to do what any man in love would. Wait.

  He waited, but she never came.

  Four years later and a threat to turn over her grandmother’s assets to the state, and up pops Jade.

  Jasper believed it had nothing to do with the stuff, because had Jackson said it would be donated to the church, she’d still be on Mayport Beach hiding. Jasper had thought it out and assured Jackson her hate for the state would be the only thing to bring her back.

  Now here they were, and he seemed to have jumped right back to the place where she left him.
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  Jasper was so deep in thought until he barely heard her speak.

  “Could you repeat that?” he asked.

  “What happened here? Where’s all Grandma’s stuff?”

  “Jade before your grandmother passed, she made me promise to have her house redone for you. All of her furnishings are still in storage, and it’s there waiting for you to do with it whatever you choose to do.”

  “So you spent thousands of dollars remodeling a place I was not living in?”

  “Actually, I didn’t spend anything. Months before your grandmother passed, she picked out every piece of furniture you see. She also hired and paid the carpenter to do some upgrades. Mrs. Lorene knew what she wanted and how she wanted it to happen. And you would have known all of this if you would have allowed her to tell you.”

  “I’m to blame?”

  “Yes. Every time she mentioned death or her dying, you would walk away. The doctors gave her three months, and she lived for three years trying to prepare you. And I still to this day can’t believe how selfish you were, but that didn’t stop her from loving you.”

  “Get out, Jasper! Get out!”

  “You can kick me out, but that still doesn’t take away who you are. It simply shows you’re still selfish and think life revolves around you. What you want? How you feel? Well, Jade B, it doesn’t and I’m sorry for thinking that the time away would have changed your heart and head.”

  “Whatever!”

  “I pray for you to find the peace you need or your heart will continue to bleed.”

  Jasper took long strides back to the front door. After he opened the door, he turned one last time.

  “I love you with everything in me, Jade, but now I understand exactly why the Lord let you leave my life. Because you didn’t deserve my love.”

  Jade ran up and slammed the door behind him.

  Jasper adjusted his jacket and walked to his car. He’d got a chance to say everything he dreamt of saying, but why did he feel so bad? Why did he feel like he was out of line?

  He laid his head on the steering wheel.

  I just can’t with this girl. I can’t say the right things. I can’t forgive her. I can’t stop loving her.

  All of his blustering can’t have landed him right back in the space he was in when she shut him out. Alone. Because no matter how many people were in his life, he still felt all alone without Jade.

  Chapter Four

  Jasper turned his engine on, put the car in Reverse, and sped out of the driveway. He would have plowed into anything and anyone behind him because not once did he look to see if anything was coming. His tires made loud squeals, but he didn’t care. Jasper turned up the volume to his music and let his windows down. He needed a blast of good music and cold wind to calm down the anger he felt.

  All the nerves.

  And to think, for four years he’d flown back and forth to Jacksonville, Florida just to make sure she was okay. All the times he’d stood on that beach watching her and making sure she was safe. Having her lawn cut and even changing the tires on her car while she slept at night.

  He’d promised Mrs. Lorene to always take care of Jade, and he was never going to renege on his promise. No matter how ungrateful she was. And in spite of the fact that she’d called herself vanishing off the face of the earth without leaving any clues.

  But no one that he loved could ever hide from him. And if he made a promise, he was going to stick to it because his word was all he had.

  He flew through the streets of downtown Shreveport until he came to his private loft. Jasper pulled into the high-rise parking lot and took the elevator to the tenth floor.

  By the time he pushed the elevator button, he was not as angry but he still felt sorry for Jade. The reality of her pain was still evident in her inability to even go into the house. She really had no one. Jade’s mother had been Mrs. Lorene’s oldest daughter and had died in an automobile accident, leaving Jade to be raised by Mrs. Lorene.

  Jade’s father had never been anything except the town’s favorite jock, and he still had nothing to do with Jade. When she was younger, it was his choice. After she got to high school, it became her choice.

  Besides him, her two aunts who now had families of their own were all the family she had. His sister, Jasmine, had been the closest thing to a sister that Jade had ever had. And Jasmine had taken the death of Mrs. Lorene almost as hard as Jade.

  You would think she’d be close to her aunt since she was sort of raised as their sister. Unfortunately, her aunt's children helped to create the divide between her and them, but Jade was seemingly okay with that too.

  Most were upset that Lorene had left everything she had to Jade. What they failed to realize was that because of Jade’s mother’s insurance, Mrs. Lorene and Jade were able to live a good life. And because Mrs. Lorene had been such a savvy businesswoman, Jade had stuff she didn’t even know she had.

  As a matter of fact, the loft he lived in had four other apartments that were fully owned by Jade. Mrs. Lorene had sold his place to him as soon as he finished law school. But Jade had no idea; she was in Florida living from paycheck to paycheck and small royalties, and she was rich. Perishing because of lack of knowledge, and all because Jade had also managed to push everyone out of her life including him and Jasmine.

  But now he needed Jasmine and so did Jade. So he made his way into his loft and yelled, “Siri, call Jasmine,” and the phone began to ring in the house speakers.

  “Hey, brother.”

  “Hey, sis.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Need a favor.”

  “Aw heck. What’s the favor?”

  “I need you to go to Jade’s.”

  “In Florida?”

  “No, she’s actually home and I’m worried about her in the house alone.”

  “You know she’s really not your problem anymore and maybe if you’d stop sneaking around taking care of her, she’ll realize that she needs someone.”

  “I promised and I’ll never—”

  “Renege on my promise,” she mimicked him.

  “You can make fun of me all you want, but it is what it is.”

  “Listen, brother, I know you love her, but she’s got to want to be loved.”

  “I know, Jas. But still, that doesn’t stop me from being there for her. So, you know you can miss me with your psychology degree semantics. She’s our friend and the loss of her grandmother rocked her.”

  “You always go there.”

  “Yes, because you are always psychologically analyzing everything and everyone. Just once, I want you to do what I ask of you without you giving me facts.”

  “Okay. Okay. I got you. I’m putting on some clothes, packing a bag so I can stay overnight with her, and I’m taking my gun just in case she wants to snap.”

  “Girl, Jade is still herself. She’s not going to snap.”

  “Man, whatever. Jade will throw those hands if she has to, and I don’t want no parts of her mouth or her hands.”

  “So you know, the Bible says, ‘God loved us with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’ You are going to have to use love and kindness.”

  “You always have to go spiritual. So, I go psychological and you go spiritual. Education is such an awesome phenomenon.”

  “It is and when we have learned to do better, we do better. For me, taking care of Jade as I promised is to be doing better. I’m doing something for someone who doesn’t want anyone to do anything for them. But I realize we all need someone, even when we don’t think we do.”

  “I know, right. And this is the only reason I will leave the warmth of my house to go to your love. Will you ever stop loving Jade?”

  “Actually, I don’t know. Trust me I’ve tried and to be honest, sis, I don’t think I can. You know that girl has been a part of me since we were youngsters in Mrs. Sample’s Sunday school class at Greater Hope. Maybe God allowed me to find my good thing when I wasn’t even capable of takin
g care of her or myself.”

  “Man, I swear you and that girl seem like those people in the Bible who were given in marriage and had no choice but to marry the one the families brought together.”

  “Well, Mom and Dad aren’t forcing me, but Dad keeps reminding me that a love worth fighting for is a love God can bless. I can’t imagine anyone having to fight as hard as I have just to be loved. But then again, Jade is just not the average type of girl.”

  “I’m glad you know it, so you can put that little Ms. Veronica in her place.”

  “Don’t start, Jas. Veronica has become a good friend and she’s the one who pulled back from starting anything with me.”

  “Whatever. I am a woman, and I know by the way she was laughing and throwing her head back at that table she wants you. Like the singer Ella Mai says, she wants to be your Whatchamacallit.”

  “Girl, you still listen to too much music.”

  “And so do you. We are our parents’ children but be careful because these days women are slick.”

  “I don’t think Veronica is that type.”

  “Boy, you’ve had only one woman all of your life. Just be careful.”

  Chapter Five

  Jade sat on the sofa next to the Christmas tree. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She brushed her face with the back of her hand. And as she began to open her mouth, melodies poured from deep in her soul.

  “Father, would You pray for me, that my faith fails not. Father, would You pray for me, to give You all I’ve got. I’m broken, weak, and at times I can’t even speak. But there’s one thing I know, wherever I shall go, that if You pray for me, the gates of hell won’t prevail. I’m in need, pray for me.”

  Jade song the words over and over again until she felt the load she carried lift. Worship came easy for her and had been her go-to since the day she’d left home. When moments got hard, she simply song to God what was easier to sing than pray.